Are you a perfectionist? Someone who prides themselves on having everything ‘just so’ in their classroom? From display boards to marking to planning, do you strive to get everything exactly right?
Yup, I see you.
As a recovering perfectionist, I can totally relate. From how the washing is hung to the correct use of commas in a sentence, I’m someone who veers towards perfectionism on a daily basis. Don’t get me wrong, as an author and editor, wanting things to be polished and professional is a good thing, but when it becomes the cause of stress and anxiety, it’s a complete pain in the arse.
I think I’ve always been like it. As a child, I was an elite-level gymnast, so aspiring to get ‘the perfect 10’ may have had something to do with my perfectionist ways. Soon they seeped out into my professional life, too.
Indeed, when I was a student teacher in 2002, I put up my first display about the Great Fire of London. I can vividly remember spending hours getting everything trimmed with the exact same border dimensions - to the nearest mm - and making labels to explain what we’d done, all mounted onto flame-coloured cards. I stuck it all up with blue tac first, so I could be sure it was all spaced precisely how I wanted it to be.
It took me so long, and no doubt meant I got behind with marking books etc. But it didn’t matter to me because my university tutor was coming in, and I was so keen to show her my hard work. When she rocked up, however, she simply gave it one glance and a quick smile, and that, dear reader, was that.
Crushing!
Yet it didn’t stop there. Over my teaching years (and beyond), I kept striving for ‘perfect’ in any situation. But, when my mental health suffered, I quickly realised that perfectionism isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
The trouble with perfect
According to psychologists in a recent Guardian article, perfectionism can:
‘blind us to our achievements while enforcing impeccable – often impossible – standards upon ourselves. It can be inflicted from within (self-oriented), projected onto others (other-oriented) or absorbed from those around us (socially prescribed). Trying (and failing) to meet these expectations can be destructive, and perfectionism can make someone vulnerable to anxiety, depression and suicide.’
Yikes! Not a good way forward.
As a teacher, there’s no doubt that you’re dedicated, passionate and committed to providing the best education to your pupils, often going above and beyond your call of duty. However, perfectionism, while often seen as a virtue, can quickly become a double-edged sword. Teachers who strive for perfection may set unrealistically high standards for themselves, leading to chronic stress and anxiety.
The pressure to deliver flawless lessons, show pupil progress, and meet impossible expectations can be overwhelming. And this relentless pursuit of perfection can result in burnout, anxiety, and other mental health challenges. To maintain a healthy and balanced life, you must learn to let go of perfectionism and embrace imperfection.
Embracing imperfection
Now before you break out into a cold sweat, embracing imperfection does not mean settling for mediocrity; instead, it involves acknowledging that mistakes and shortcomings are a natural part of the teaching journey - hello, growth mindset! By embracing imperfection, you can create an environment of growth, resilience, and empathy for yourself and your class.
When you acknowledge your own fallibility, you create space for learning from mistakes and finding innovative approaches to teaching. This mindset shift encourages experimentation, creativity, and adaptability in the classroom, ultimately benefiting everyone involved!
Show yourself some compassion
Perfectionism often stems from a fear of failure and a harsh inner critic. As much as you’d like to simply stuff a sock in it, you need to practice self-compassion to counteract this. Recognising that everyone - including yourself - makes mistakes and that setbacks are opportunities for growth is essential for maintaining mental wellbeing.
By showing self-compassion, you can cultivate resilience and reduce feelings of stress and self-doubt. Additionally, self-compassion allows you to extend empathy and understanding to your pupils, creating a supportive and inclusive classroom environment.
Set yourself realistic expectations
You can strive for excellence but do understand that perfection is unattainable. Setting realistic expectations and achievable goals is crucial for maintaining a healthy work-life balance. Prioritise your wellbeing by recognising your limitations and focusing on what truly matters. By embracing imperfection and setting realistic expectations, you can avoid unnecessary stress and maintain your mental health while still turning up and being a rock star for the kids.
One final thing…
There’s debate amongst psychologists as to whether there’s such a thing as ‘healthy perfectionism’ - something one describes as an oxymoron. For me, it’s about awareness. Have high standards and expectations, yes, but recognise when those things are becoming detrimental to how you’re able to manage daily life.
Start small and let go of some things that, in the long run, don’t really matter. A bit like how my husband hangs the washing… On second thoughts, scrap that. I’m not quite ready to embrace his haphazard ways.
On a serious note, though, releasing your grip on perfectionism comes from practice - just like any element of behavioural change, it’s about creating new neural pathways in the brain that will serve you better.
So from one recovering perfectionist to another, embrace ‘good enough’ and let the rest of that sh*t go.If you’d like further support to manage your team’s mental health and wellbeing, get in touch with our Doug - This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. - and he can give you all the info.
