Returning from holiday and how to avoid those blues

Laughology

Returning from a holiday and heading back to school inevitably brings that sense of disappointment and a certain ‘Monday morning feeling’ - multiplied by a thousand. But there’s no getting away from it, so in this blog post, Danielle Downey shares how you can avoid those holiday blues.

Nothing compares to that light, joyful sense of bliss that inflates inside you as you stroll through Gatwick Duty-Free, ready for two weeks away on holiday. That sense of adventure and expanse, knowing that anything is possible and nothing is expected of you.

These precious moments might come so rarely to us as adults, whose days can feel so restricted, predictable and demanding of us. Yet is it possible to keep some of this openness and curiosity within us even when we return ‘back’ to our everyday?

One of the reasons I feel so good when I know it's holiday time is the idea I can do what I please with the hours given. Time moves differently when you’re away; it feels more expansive and similar to being a child. As a child, you have a very different concept of time, ask a 3-year-old when their birthday is, and they’re likely to say ‘tomorrow’.

Time takes on a different quality the older we get, too, because as more is demanded of us, we start viewing it in terms of lack and how much we need to cram in by a specific date/deadline. This perception in itself drives feelings of anxiety, and we may find ourselves using language such as:

“I don’t have the time” or “I’ll never get this done in time.”

Such language in itself propels this sense of urgency, and it may be something we’ve subconsciously built into our daily lives.

Being present

During my holiday in Spain, I noticed time moving very differently. Slower because I was on holiday, relaxed and able to truly do what I wanted at every hour, but also, the pace of life was a lot less ‘driven towards’ something the way it tends to be in England.

Having no responsibilities or decisions to make (other than deciding between vermouth or sangria) reminded me of being a child. Also, not having to think about the ‘outcome’ or ‘end goal’ of any decision I made was liberating for my mind, which tends to work in terms of deadlines while at work.

By releasing the need to know the outcome, I was less uptight and could enjoy the moment more. Being present is the basic core of ‘mindfulness’, something which I must consciously practise in London but occurred naturally on holiday.

So alongside’Barcelona’ magnets and cheese from Lan Mancha, these are some of the insights I have bought back from holiday with me:

Using mindfulness daily can capture some of that precious holiday feeling

Taking 5 minutes every so often just to be present, not talk but listen to the noises around me or colours/scents, helps clear my mind chatter.

When viewing my daily surroundings with my ‘tourist’ eyes, I tend to look up more and am more curious.

Repeating to myself, “Nothing is expected of me”, personally, makes me feel less stressed.

“The most valuable gift you can give yourself is time.”

Oprah Winfrey

Oprah’s Super Soul Conversations

I’d always listened to Oprah’s Super Soul podcast, which began every episode with this quote. Still, I never really understood how my relationship with ‘time’ was fundamental to how compassionate I was with myself. And how my perception of time affected the quality of my day/mood.

When I see time in terms of ‘lack’ (which is so easy to do living in a fast-paced city), I become bitter when weekends are over, anxious about deadlines and guilty about missed opportunities - maybe you’ve felt like this, too?

But when I view time as precious and a gift to myself, I start paying attention to where I am using it.

Questions to ask yourself about the time you have

Since coming back, I’ve tried being selective with my time and noticing when I am doing something half-hearted or just to ‘get it done’.

I’ve also started asking myself:

How am I using my time?
Where am I dedicating it?
Am I realistic about how much I can get done in a certain amount of time? It is not compassionate to myself if I overstretch and overcommit
Am I focusing on the end goal, therefore not enjoying the journey?
Am I enjoying the journey? If the answer is yes, then I send appreciation for that moment. If the answer is no, I stop and question, “Why not and what can I do to change this?”

Returning from two such enjoyable weeks in the sun back into drizzly Gatwick was horrible. And though I looked at photos to remind myself of what joy I’d experienced, I also had to accept the difficult feeling of ‘the end of a holiday’.

To encourage resilience and find inspiration to return to work, I used these tools:

I reminded myself that more good holidays would come
I allowed myself to be grumpy (for the rest of that day)
I bought some Ben and Jerry’s and watched all episodes of Rowan Atkinson’s new series ‘Man VS Bee’*

*which I cannot recommend highly enough if you want to laugh.

As you return from the holidays and thoughts turn to school-related stuff, why not try some of these strategies to help you?

And if you’d like further advice or support with managing your stress levels as you return to school, why not sign up for our free webinar: The Stress Effect, brought to you by our sister company, Laughology? Even if you can’t make the session live, if you sign up for your free spot, you’ll be sent the recording.

Danielle Downey is one of our HCS facilitators and loves bringing her passion for meditation, laughter, movement and how to keep your brain healthy to the schools she works in. She’s also a former child West End theatre star - ooh, er, missus.