“I just can’t do it, Steph.”
Adam* lay curled up on the carpet underneath the whiteboard, tears streaming down his face, arms wrapped around himself.
“It’s okay,” I replied, kneeling down next to him and putting my hand on his shoulder. “We’ll sort it out.”
I looked around wildly. Ofsted were lurking, and the children were due back from playtime at any minute. Adam was due to be observed doing a science lesson, and he simply couldn’t cope with even the thought of it. He had a look of sheer terror in his eyes.
Eventually, I got him to his feet - I don’t remember how - and led him out of the classroom, sending him home in the hope that, in time and with the right support, he’d recover and return to the classroom.
He never did. The truth was, he’d been struggling for a while. Masking how awful he really felt and trying to cope in silence. After a few months off, he did attempt to return, but he just couldn’t do it. He left the school and left teaching.
And he isn’t the only one. Not by far.
Recognising the stigma
Society has long attached a stigma to men's mental health, making it difficult for many to seek help or share their experiences.
Here are some statistics to bring that to life:
- According to the Office for National Statistics (ONS), in England and Wales, men accounted for three-quarters of suicide deaths registered in 2022, with a rate of 16.4 deaths per 100,000 men compared to 5.4 deaths per 100,000 women.
- A 2020 report by the Mental Health Foundation found that in England, around 1 in 8 men have a common mental health problem such as depression, anxiety, panic disorder, or obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD).
- A 2019 survey by the Mental Health Foundation revealed that 28% of men had not sought medical help for a mental health problem, compared to 19% of women.
- A 2017 survey by the National Pharmacy Association found that 83% of men would rather take medication than talk to a healthcare professional about their mental health concerns.
Not only that, but the teaching profession in the UK is predominantly female, with the Department for Education reporting that as of 2023, 76% of teachers in state-funded schools in England are women. This gender imbalance, particularly in primary schools, may contribute to male teachers feeling isolated or reluctant to discuss their mental health concerns, as they may perceive a lack of understanding or shared experiences among their colleagues.
In Adam’s case, he was one of only two male teachers in the school. The other seemed to be coping brilliantly, and so who could he turn to that might understand the situation from his perspective? It’s not that the female members of the team didn’t want to or couldn’t, of course not. But perhaps this stigma proved too much of a hurdle for Adam to sit down with the other male teacher and say, “Hey, I’m struggling.”
There is a lot to do. But where to start?
Strategies for encouraging conversation
As school leaders, you are responsible for creating a safe and supportive environment that encourages all staff members, regardless of gender, to prioritise their mental health.
As with many things, communication is key. Providing a psychologically safe environment to talk about how we’re really feeling is imperative. Promoting open communication and regular check-ins with all staff members can help, as can training for leadership and staff on mental health awareness and support.
The data says that men don’t like opening up and talking, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try. Where possible, can you encourage male teachers to lead by example, sharing their own struggles and coping strategies to help break down the stigma surrounding men's mental health? It doesn’t need to be big revelations, either. Small moments they’ve found challenging can be just what someone else needs to hear to begin opening up, too.
Acknowledge the unique challenges faced by male teachers in a female-dominated profession and create opportunities for them to connect with one another, such as through male-specific support groups. Can you get an informal group of male teachers together from local schools?
Offer confidential access to mental health resources and professionals, ensuring that all teachers know where to turn for help when needed, such as those from:
And finally…
As school leaders, you play a crucial role in setting the tone for mental health support in your school. By being open about your own mental health experiences and modelling healthy coping strategies and work-life balance, you can demonstrate that it is okay to prioritise self-care and seek help when needed.
When male teachers see their leaders championing mental health and breaking down stereotypes, they may feel more comfortable opening up about their own struggles, too.
And talking about it really is the first step.
If you’d like us to help you start the conversation around men’s mental health in your school, get in touch, and Doug will be more than happy to chat through what we can do - This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
*Names have been changed
Steph Caswell started out life as a primary school teacher, reaching the dizzy heights of deputy headship before turning her hand to writing. She’s the author of six books, and when not writing witty, opinionated content for Happy-Centred Schools, she supports other aspiring authors to write theirs.
